1. Going to Michael’s to redeem coupons makes your heart burst with glitter and confetti.
2. Even if you’re going to the store for ONE THING,you end up leaving with four bags having spent $145.
3. Your workspace and closets runneth over with supplies you bought on sale (and that you’ll probably never even use).
4. You’ve forgotten what it feels like to not have fingers caked in dried glue.
5. You’ve lost enough blood from X-Acto knife mishaps to fill a child’s swimming pool.
6. You can’t bring yourself to throw anything out, ever. You know the minute you do, you’ll think of a craft project that would’ve been prefect for yesterday’s garbage.
7. You kind of, sort of, just a liiittle bit relate to the people on Hoarders.
8. Whenever you empty your vacuum cleaner, it looks like Rip Taylor had an existential breakdown in your living room.
9. If a friend asks to borrow scissors, you need them to be more specific. “Do you want scalloped edges? Zig zags? Little waves? Why are you backing away from me slowly?”
10. Sometimes the inspiration for new crafting projects is so completely overwhelming that it threatens to destroy you.
11. Nothing makes you happier than when the UPS guy knocks on the door to deliver new crafting supplies.
12. …but every month when you review how much you spend on equipment and supplies, you have a minor emotional crisis.
13. You find it impossible to watch movies or TV shows unless your hands have a job to do.
14. You’ve lost all social graces in responding to acquaintances who innocently ask, “Can you make me something? I’ll buy you a drink.”
15. Sometimes you craft so late into the night, your hands cramp up and start to resemble Freddy Kreuger’s deformed claw hands.
16. You’d never actually do it, but you’ve kinda sorta considered acquiring a speed addiction so you can stay awake for weeks at a time to CRAFT CRAFT CRAFT.
17. Watching Etsy slowly turn into eBay cuts you to the core. You’ve tweeted at Obama to fix it but he hasn’t responded, strangely.
18. You’d rather go to a yard sale than go on vacation. Could you find 25 pounds of pristine vintage fabric for $6.50 in Cabo? UH, NO.
19. You start crafting handmade holiday gifts in August, because inspiration can’t wait until Winter.
20. You’re turning into a crafting monster, but you’ve accepted this fact. Que sera sera.